My mind seems to latch onto songs and lyrics. This hasn’t bothered me much in the past, and in fact I think it was actually something that helped me learn how to meditate. I easily slip into repeating a mantra; my mind is delighted to oblige. Repeat it long enough though, and my mind finally gives up. Then I glimpse and experience the peacefulness of the present moment… for a moment.

But when my mind grabs hold of the lyrics of a song and just runs with it, ad nauseum, I feel like I have no control. I feel like I am being controlled by my mind. To what end? Singing a song over and over again in my head seems like one of the most useless activities I could participate in… unless I were trying to memorize the lyrics, of course.

But the fact is, I don’t memorize lyrics. I just hum a tune and pointlessly repeat the lyrics that I do know, over and over again. I find myself doing this when I wake up in the middle of the night, first thing in the morning, while I brush my teeth, shower, make breakfast, do the dishes, feed horses, muck the paddock of horse poop, shop, work, exercise… it doesn’t seem to matter what I am doing, my mind can be off in its own little world, singing some song. Sigh…

The latest tune has been–no surprise here–I Dreamed a Dream, from Les Miserables, sung by Susan Boyle and watched by millions (like me) on youtube. Like many others, I was very moved by her singing, but being moved doesn’t mean I have to be possessed…enough is enough!

The bright side of becoming aware of this affliction is just that: I can become aware of it. And the moment I become conscious of it, I am able to step outside of it and experience a gap of no thought (NO SONG). At least for a second, and sometimes even several seconds. The contrast between the constant chatterbox of pointless singing and the steady peace of blissful silence is astounding.

I have yet to experience great joy in this silence, but along with the present moment, I am also making patience my friend.