Have you ever seen a homeless person standing on a street corner and listened to him or her verbally castigate unseen foes? Have you ever been cornered by someone at a party who would just not stop talking to you, despite all the subtle and not-so-subtle cues you put out that you’d heard enough, thank you very much? Have you ever found yourself humming an inane tune you’d listened to hours before? Have you wasted minutes, hours, days, weeks and even years thinking the same thoughts?
Welcome to what I call The Chatterbox Club. It’s a club with billions of members, but most people don’t even know they are a part of it. I have been an upstanding member since my mind started forming thoughts and creating visual images in my head. My membership was elevated to a higher status when thoughts became words and those words poured forth in a constant stream of, well, chatter. For more than half a century I have been at the mercy of my mind’s continuous creation, digestion and excretion of some very important thoughts. At least my mind has assigned them as very important, whether anyone else would agree or not.
So, I’m announcing here that I’ve submitted my resignation, because I no longer want to be a member of The Chatterbox Club. However, I suspect it might be a slow process to disentangle myself. And I expect to receive plenty of flak from my mind. No doubt I will be inspired to share some of that with you all from time to time. Like how I can’t seem to stop thinking about something—anything—almost all of my waking hours. I find myself yelling to myself, “Shut up already!” Of course that yelling is all in my mind. My mind yelling at my mind. Sigh… sound familiar?
True silence is bliss. Try it some time.
Resistance tightens the knot of each passing thought.
I stand beside you, admiring your beauty
I wait, hoping you will reveal to me
the secrets of the Universe
You stand mute,
swatting at flies with your long black tail
i stand naked in a forest
the rich black earth cool against my bare feet
You stand across from me looking
i cannot see You
but i know You are there
my belly burns from the intensity of Your gaze
one moment my insides are solid
the next they are lava
rising from the depths of my being
pouring out of my mouth in a hot stream
as dark as the dirt upon which i stand
the molten liquid
is replaced by light
traveling from the tip of my toes
to the top of my head
the light explodes in a rush through my crown
my body ceases to exist
i am light
i am love
i feel an excruciating bliss
an orgasm that never ends
as quietly as You came
the light and love fade
like a butterfly fleeing from my open hands
i cry out in mourning
and then gasp
Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!