Moment to moment
September 20, 2010, 4:02 pm
Filed under: Photos, Random Reflections, The Chatterbox Club | Tags:

Moment to moment, the mind whispers, speaks firmly, shouts—asking questions, advising, cajoling yet another constant stream of thought into existence. A brief span of silence, recognized and appreciated by the witness, is immediately interrupted by some song heard hours ago, and just now replayed when the mind saw that the Pause button seemed to be stuck in the “ON” position. “Oh no, can’t have that silent present shit,” it says to itself.

“They are so much work, these horses,” the mind complains, “you really should sell them. You don’t even have enough time to work and ride them these days. You can’t really afford them. And what good is it to own them when all you do is buy food to feed them, pick up the manure they produce from feeding them, and pay an occasional vet bill when one of them needs doctoring you’re unqualified to give them?”

“But they contribute to my sanity,” the mind whines, as it begins counting the steps taken between piles of manure being picked up. “They are so beautiful—inside and out. They help me to be present when I am with them.”

Hearing the last sentence, the mind stops counting, stops whining, stops completely. The ground shifts, the manure is transformed into a prop on a vast, open stage—other props stand sentinel: the fence posts, individual blades of grass blurring into one, the trees on the periphery…. And then the mind leaps in, “And besides, who would buy horses these days when the economy has gone down the tubes? Even though they are worth a lot of money to you because you have put so much effort into training them to be gentle, safe and reliable saddle horses, you’d have to give them away now! But of course there is no one you know who would care for them as well as you do, and so even if you give them away, you risk setting them up for suffering.”

“Oh nonsense!” the mind retorts. “Plenty of people know how to take good care of animals. There are probably hundreds of people who would take better care of them than you do! Besides, you want to start a whole new career, remember? You want to become a Personal Trainer and work with senior citizens, to help them regain lost strength and live longer, healthier lives. There is so much more validity to that profession than working with horses—which you don’t do much of these days anyway. Geez, why can’t you just make up your mind and do something? Something worthwhile. You’ve been slacking for quite awhile now… using the excuse that you’re just trying to awaken. Trying to “get in touch with your inner guide” or some such nonsense. Give me a break. What a load of crap. How do you think you’re going to know it’s your ‘inner guide’ speaking to you anyway, and not just your chatterbox mind?”

Suddenly there is a shift, and words are heard—it is the same voice, but clearly a different speaker. “Presence. Remember presence. Can you just bring yourself present with what is here, now?”

The witness The witness notices it all, including the call to presence, the shift, the silence. The mind’s dialog continues—as if the “PLAY” button were now stuck in the “ON” position—and the silent witness hears the thoughts as they arise. Even as the mind rebels against the gentle command it gives itself to “just stop,” the witness watches the thoughts being projected across the screen of past memory and future imaginings. The witness notices the body breathing shallower, the heart beginning to race, the muscles constricting, the tears overflowing the eyelids. The witness feels the anxiety and tension building throughout the form, as the thoughts continue to tumble and collide with each other—the mind taking first one side of the argument, and then the other, ceaselessly playing the victim, the whiner, the rational one, the Devil’s Advocate.

The witness sees that there is no end to the roles the mind is willing to take on. Observing—no joy, no sorrow, no judgment, no concern—the witness just notices in complete and utter silence, that which unfolds moment to moment, in the moment.


1 Comment

lol ya; that’s good. 🙂

Comment by mmmmmmm

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