My mind doesn’t get it…
June 7, 2009, 9:09 am
Filed under: Random Reflections | Tags:

I sometimes find myself thinking, ‘the NOW’ … what does that mean? How can this moment, the NOW, be so special, be all there really IS, when it is gone the next moment? And the next moment is also the NOW? I don’t understand.”

My mind doesn’t get it. I can’t wrap my head around the concept. But in the depths of my Being I know this to be true. It isn’t a concept. It just IS.

But my mind tries to grasp this ‘concept’ and when there is a little glimmer of comprehension, it says, “Oh! OK, I get it!” But then the understanding won’t be complete and my mind settles into disappointment.

I’ve been compiling a few little tidbits of insight from various sources… hints I’ve stumbled upon in my random readings lately. One thing that stands out is that ‘the NOW’ isn’t really just a moment… it is every moment; there is no moment that is not the NOW. It may seem totally obvious, but my mind doesn’t really get that, and yet I find myself saying, “Of course that’s true,” as if I’m talking to a child.

Perhaps the most noticeable change I have personally experienced lately is that I am noticing. (Notice that I don’t indicate in that sentence what I am noticing. It’s sort of like being.) This noticing takes many forms:  I see things, I hear sounds, I smell various odors, I feel through my skin and in my heart. I cannot claim to feel great inner peace, nor joy overflowing all the time, but more and more often I feel focused on noticing what is taking place; I feel awake and alive with this noticing.

Occasionally I snap out of a sort of reverie after I have been turned inward, contracted. I’ll think, “Oh, I haven’t been noticing, I haven’t been here, I haven’t been present. I’ve been missing out on life.”  The brief thought that sometimes follows is “where have I been?” But I brush it aside because it doesn’t matter. I wasn’t present, no big deal, because NOW, I AM.

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